Searching for Meaning and Value of oneself
It's been a while I did not update anything in here
I did not lose the passion to blog, its just I have too much to blog!
even when Im on the road, when I look up to the sky,
even when I'm walking in the night market!
There are so much to learn in our life
not only what you have experienced, but also what you have seen and listen or
even when you feel for your daily life!
There are always a hole in my heart of soul
I don't know how to filled it, before I've ascertain my direction
I thought it was because of me did not make a future plan for my life
and did not being mature
Everyone's blue prints are almost the same:
primary, secondary, highschool, college, career, money, marriage, family, die
I've know about that long ago
and I am certain with what and how I will do with that
somehow, the heart still feel empty
I've misperceived it as I felt lonely, and I need a partner
However, I found out it wasn't the problem
It's happen with I don't have faith
religion let me felt that I am loved
my messed emotion and the anxiety gradually slow down
because, everything that happened have a cause
I should have thought of that, why didn't I thought of it?!
I guess many people must has been or are yet been through a "lost" stage
when you don't know what you are so stubborn on beholding something, or having strong and deep feeling upon something, or repeating something gradually
everything has its root cause which planted by ourselves NOT others
By reading Dalai Lama, or listen to his talks, its inspired me to think more
and think deeper.
However, I knew what is the cause but I felt too weak and powerless to go against it,
to over it
It's just kinda hard to adapt when I truly understand the law of changeable
everything are changeable, nothing is permanent
only enlightenment and awakening would be FOREVER
well, I'm still confuse and searching about it..
what exactly is enlightenment and awakening is?
how should I define, apply, and achieve?
Hopefully I don't become a weirdo whom don't leave the house
hahahaha... no I am not.
even when Im on the road, when I look up to the sky,
even when I'm walking in the night market!
There are so much to learn in our life
not only what you have experienced, but also what you have seen and listen or
even when you feel for your daily life!
There are always a hole in my heart of soul
I don't know how to filled it, before I've ascertain my direction
I thought it was because of me did not make a future plan for my life
and did not being mature
Everyone's blue prints are almost the same:
primary, secondary, highschool, college, career, money, marriage, family, die
I've know about that long ago
and I am certain with what and how I will do with that
somehow, the heart still feel empty
I've misperceived it as I felt lonely, and I need a partner
However, I found out it wasn't the problem
It's happen with I don't have faith
religion let me felt that I am loved
my messed emotion and the anxiety gradually slow down
because, everything that happened have a cause
I should have thought of that, why didn't I thought of it?!
I guess many people must has been or are yet been through a "lost" stage
when you don't know what you are so stubborn on beholding something, or having strong and deep feeling upon something, or repeating something gradually
everything has its root cause which planted by ourselves NOT others
By reading Dalai Lama, or listen to his talks, its inspired me to think more
and think deeper.
However, I knew what is the cause but I felt too weak and powerless to go against it,
to over it
It's just kinda hard to adapt when I truly understand the law of changeable
everything are changeable, nothing is permanent
only enlightenment and awakening would be FOREVER
well, I'm still confuse and searching about it..
what exactly is enlightenment and awakening is?
how should I define, apply, and achieve?
Hopefully I don't become a weirdo whom don't leave the house
hahahaha... no I am not.
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