Rules Exist to be Broken

Why everytime I come back must listen to all these hysteria? Life is very complicated and full with uneasy... I've try ma best to make my life to be easy and simple.. get satisfy easily, get happy easily... People said I actually think too much, complicate the simply matter I don't knw, sometimes really lost.. I don't know am I really complicate the matter or am I escaping the truth I'm headstrong, I don't like people control or interfere me that's why I never wanted to dominate, except for certain situation la... why can't the people I really care did not understand? I can accept that human aren't perfect, no one is perfect what someone love to do, and hate to do, is very personal.. Why must another one to interfere and comment? and even wanna stop them from doing if they think it's inappropriate to do so? Maybe other's comment or opinion does make sense, I got it. I really got it. But y u want  me to follow exactly wat u want me to...

不能告诉你，因为，说了，你也不能真的明白、感受到。只能在这里，用文字表达。傻傻的… 我也不懂，自己到底付出了多少，付出，有得衡量的吗？ 我并不想用“欠”，这个字眼来形容，因为我不觉得自己欠你，因为，我不会还你。而是，为你一直付出，付出給你，你想要的。让你想要在累时，依赖在我身上，耍赖、撒娇，像个小孩；让你，把你真正的情绪都只让我看见（虽然我不喜欢，因为你会很凶，也不讲理）；让你专心去做你要做的事情（虽然我也会不喜欢，因为你会把我晾在一旁） 我真的很想念你… … 不要你离开我。只想一直相信，你只是暂时没办法理清自己的问题，或者面对我们之间的问题，而不是，用冷暴力，来惩罚我。 我不能相信，你会用冷暴力来让我屈服，用冷暴力来逼喜欢你的人说要离开你。我决不相信。 看了好多文章，都说，金牛座的人一旦做了决定就决不回头。那么，你想好了吗？做好了决定给吗？你不说就是你的决定？然后，头也不回？你不是这样的人，我相信。但是，好矛盾，好挣扎。看到你一点都不想理我，看我。我的心就痛… 更不确定，我所相信的会不会是我自己的傻？ 不管别人怎么看，不管别人怎么说，不管值不值得，我只知道，我要和你在一起。我们的心相爱，在一起，就能够解决所有的问题。你不认同吗？为什么非要把外在是事情扯进我们之前，让彼此的心都乱了。 但是… 我已感觉不到你的心了。你的心，装了什么？我害怕装了另一个女生，我更害怕，我不在里面。我们吵架，我问你“你心里还有我吗？”，或许真的男女有别吧。你说“如果心里没有你，就不会为你做这么多，不会因为你而生气。”可…有时，真的，没必要生气的啊。你怎么那么爱生气？ 又看了一篇文章，“对不起”并不是说说而已… 对不起可以是一个承诺。 相信爱情但不迷信爱情。 我还是相信，爱情会有美好的结局。但，我努力克制自己不迷信我们之间的爱情。若，你不爱了，请告诉我。别让我苦苦等待… 等到心都撕裂、败坏。

HaPPy mid-autumn festival~ Its a rainny festival season... haha! happy becuz after a few days of dry and hot, finally raining ler.. but then, so sad that this rain doesn't come naturally it's causes disaster which Tsunami visited south America, and the happened earthquake in Indonesia which also affected peninsular Malaysia.   The very first Pesta Tanglung UMS is already over, perrsonally I think it's successful, because It has been attracted many peoples come, arround 1000 have ba?  though there is abit imperfect because the Rain God doesn't give face, in the middle of the event it RAIN! and it was an outdoor event! everyone is running back to KgE hahaha.. I'm 1 of it too... when I reached room, whole body get wet and now fever abit.. Don't understand my body la recently these 2 days so easy get fever.. Well, It's really feel good to be frank with my most trusted and beloved one... eheheheh.. Don't missunderstanding, as if u're my UMS f...

心，空空的 装不下，却也不满 全化为满脑的怀念 念当时的你，念当时的我 怨你变了，怨我不够珍惜 理智、情感，相互抵触 放下，微笑，转身离去 是唯一的结局吗？ 抑或，会换来你觉悟的挽留？ 不，那已太迟了 也许，你早就看透一切 我的不羁，原来并不是该为你而改变 嫣然一笑，胜过千言万语。 爱，是什么？ 在这灿烂的年纪 我们懂得爱吗？ 我们懂 爱到痛时，便是爱 爱到能够接受别人的不爱，独自站起来 我们懂得爱 不让任何事物干扰我们的发展 是疯狂却真切的爱 岁月逐渐流失 爱，变质了 只因为我们都从爱中学习到各种不一样的哲学 我们追求的不再是爱，更胜于爱 神父说，两人能在一起是修来的缘分 任何困难，只要足够沟通、互相让步 撒旦的陷阱，不足威胁 根基的是，两人心里有爱 珍爱对方，是珍惜及疼爱 就像耶稣，珍爱我们 以行动及圣经告诉我们。 爱，请说出口，再行动证明。 所有的爱都一样。

Why guys need girl to be strong? How strong you want us to be? I think we are strong, coz we have period every month, Do you know how pain it is? until cold sweat coming out from our body, feeling everything is not right, somehow we can't escape class everyday, and still have to do our routine. I think we are strong, coz we have to take care out health very much, to keep us looks good and don't suddenly get cancer. Especially, breast cancer & cervix cancer. Do you know how hurt and harsh for us to cut off our precious and symbolic of a woman? I think we are strong, coz we always take people's feeling deeply, we always support people's thought and tell them what have they miss out. Especially for our beloved and most trusted wan.. You might think we are too emo and sensitive. But, its because we always believe in deep feeling, deep feeling can support strong spirit. Like you. I think we are strong, coz we would give our most precious to our beloved on...

This sem so damn much assignments, so damn much little tiny things... and my midterm never ever can finish fast fast! still got 1 more midterm to go.. ^^ happy that will go back home during Raya.. hohoho! though I know for sure after went back must kena "ceramah".. but then nvm lar.. too much things happen in this sem Need to go back hug hug my Mickey and fight with my Cooper.. hehehe! Though go back to refresh my mind and myself lar.. but then still need too plan well works that shud be done in this precious holidays.. coz after holidays there will be ALOTZ tasks!!!!!! OMg... First, UMS tkd open larrr... then PAP larr.. aiyok! I'm such a lazy ppl.. hahaha! Aiyok!!! I old liao larrr!!! Keep on forgetting stuff.. I die lorr... I got 3 times absent my meeting continuous.. My members sure very mad with me.. But I really too much stuff in head to think, I can't even sleep well.. though I know I really need rest and must sleep at the time I set myself to sleep.. But the...

It's kinda stress and feel like everything is not right in ma life, and it's not merely me, and also my 2 others roommates.. haha! So, we were saying wanna go island, we talk talk then I thought is just talk, coz I also worried about if go island then will spend alotz.. hahaha~ But then, because of the bazaar food again, make me stomachache in the early morning of 5am, I was so frustrated.... And then, in the 7am, my roommates were talking and wake me up, they said, " Sumandak! bagun lar, mau pigi pulau ni..." I was like.. "wat?!" firstly, I was thinking I dunwan go lar, not feeling well and tight budget somemore... ehehehe... but then, when still got 15mins b4 they depart, OK! I make up my mind, just go lar~! have fun~~ though its just the 3 gals of us.. ahahahah!   The only bad thing is the guy we ask for rent car, we already deal with him that we rent for 1 hour in the morning that he will send us to Jesselton Point, and then come pick us up at 4pm, Ok, ...